come friend, allow your hand to brush me

brush this off of me

not all of it but some

my head on your lap

wet with my salt

lead me in that slow waltz of yours

as you talk nonsense and i smile

and maybe laugh briefly

take me to the nearest ocean

sit by me while i listen to my father woush..

while we stare in worry at that black silhouette walking towards us

while we breathe, heavily

or is it just me?

i can't breathe anymore dear, my heart's too big for my chest

thunder in my lungs

rain in my brain

freckles of worry on my lower back, that place my hand can't reach

but yours can

so come friend

brush these freckles off if you may

dawn is at bay

and i want to look pretty for the red sun

what is this i hear?

is it november or my body dismembered?

yes i've been depuzzled

de feathered

dis lo ca ted

how come you ask

i ask this too

de puzz led yet puzzled still

by what was once a thrill

and is now only dust

"but dust is still matter", whispered the wind

and went on to tell me

"i am a beautiful tornado, say it"

i am a beautiful tornado

i repeat

i am a beautiful tornado of everything and nothing

layers of you all and none

a thick spiral of sounds

a calm storm of what could be what was and what might have been

but this is what it is

it

not me not you not her no one dear no one

then again i realise

none of this is mine

neither am i

not even words or letters or emotions that are themselves as clear as water, as thick as mud and as deep as transparent quicksand

i shouldn't be here should i?

i'll say it now and i'll try to believe it Scarlett

"frankly my dear, i don't give a damn"

i don't get it

never did

when my neck bloats and turns to red

and i suffocate

and my pupils drown in strange salty water

and it all becomes blurry

is it a sort of human rain?

a means to an end

a need

come to think of it, my soil's run dry

my skin is pealing

and a fistful of hair, i remember

autumn is late this year

i fear he might not even show

i fear i may have swallowed it while gasping for air that chilly day

mouth open wide

dry tongue stretched out

like a branch

that's when my lashes started falling

could i be autumn in becoming?

i do not get it

never will

October should have knocked

half nude in dim light
i couldn't hear the phone ring
it did not ring at all
or did it?

nevermind

then again, was it january?
when our feet got tangled
when our fingers scissored
and our knees kissed
and your hands held my hips while i shook clumsily
and i laughed like i did when i was a kid
and you caught me by surprise
and left my window open

and swallowed the key

or did you dump it in the ocean?

i never changed the lock
it's been chilly ever since

anyway
October should have knocked
and you should have left me your scarf

i'm sorry
my eyes, they are wide, i know
you are bound to see your reflection


is this why you pull away?

as i waltz slowly to the rythm of autumn leaves
i wonder
is this the burried sound of every farewell?

هيدا صوتك أو صوت البحر؟
ما بدّي أعرف
وشوشتني من بعيد
مفكّرني ما بسمع
بس أنا بسمع
يمكن ما بئشع
بسّ بسمع
"ما ثخافي ألّا من البحر الهادي"
يا ريت حدا قلّي
ما ثحكي هلّآ
عم بسبح

is this your voice or that of the sea?
i don't want to know
you whispered from far
you thaught i couldn't hear you
but i listen, me
maybe i can't see
but i listen
"be weary of calm oceans"
i wish someone had told me
don't speak now
i'm floating

ألا و لست كائنا بين الأبيض والأسود هائما
Am I not but a creature lost between black and white

ce bruit me couvre le corps

woush...

"darling, i hope that my dream never haunted you"

I bend when faced with immensity

as what is immense is light

I bend at your grace

for you are far too delicate for my feral kind

I bend to endure

the same way water spirals around rocks with ease

and the wind caresses effortless flowers

and the light penetrates my closed window

and the hummingbird carelessly hums

sometimes, it's like you have to bend to keep on living

As if bending was an act of submission

as if it were a must

I bend to lust

for it is what keeps me thirsty

...

I am bent

for I have once loved

je te caresse sans que tu ne le sente
a l'aube
au bord de l'océan

étrange que ce soit
je m'étrangle das une joie brève
est-ce un rêve?

est-ce le noyau de tout?

Ça ne peut être qu'un moment de folie passager

une brisure dans mes pensées
une fissure
une scissure

tout ce que je sais
c'est que tu me rend heureuse

n'importe ton nom
jolie petite illusion

idylles

je suis seule dans un rien
non je ne pleure pas
j'ai les yeux fermés
je murmure des mots inaudibles

le vide me prend dans ses bras

je vole
je flotte

plus d'ombres
rien que le vent

et le soleil
n'oublie pas le soleil

que de fantasmes en chair et en os
à Beyrouth
la nuit

je marche le long d'une ruelle vide
il fait froid
brouillard de désirs
je délire
j'ai soif

j'ai la langue sèche
que des bouches ouvertes
on attend qu'il pleuve amour

et on attend
suspendus

à Beyrouth
la nuit

Duras -on n'a pas à se pleindre..nous nous sommes servi de notre intelligence, vous vous êtes servi de votre propre intelligence, on n'as pas eu peur de le faire
Godard - maintenant j'aurais un peu peur, j'ai plus peur qu'avant...
Duras: et on est connu partout et on a fait à peu près ce qu'on voulait faire...au cinéma
Godard:... (soupir) non alors là...

ce sont des vents passagers que l'on essaye de traduire en lettres

une espèce de sculpture poétique à nos idées rebelles
éternellement éphemères
ça risque de s'envoler
mais c'est beau comme ça
dans le vent
dans le vide
dans le blanc